Moments in Time: Notes from the Dead Letter Office

(Laundry and other domestics done for now, but like the sun there is a pattern. The tempo of my heart, can you hear it humming. Down to business. Ahem… )

Quote. Sometimes I drift off and imagine myself as the Tin Man from that famous movie. The black and white picture. Most of us have seen the film to the end. I think that we can all agree that he was never really missing his heart in the first place. In knowing this, I no longer have to be afraid for his heart. He simply forgot how to use it. These whacky hearts come totally unboxed and without a manual or warranty. Could a set of simple to follow, assembly instructions help us navigate clear nights. Not lost, but simply trying to find our way home. Many things are left up to interpretation, too subjective to really measure up to the standards we have set in place. We “know” in this day of age, but have chosen the disregard finding out for ourselves and the unknown magic. Humans grow older with each passing generation on this Earth. Forgetting the innocence of childhood is out crowning achievement. Some of us still harbor the ways of old. Passing them to those in our lives. A small spark to light dark times. We are unwillingly transplanted into the “normal life system” of well being, but never seem take hold in the nervous system. We are rejected by the host. Resistance to acceptance. Hang on, Hang on. Throughout our short history we have tried to stop the one thing that would allow us to remember that we are whole. We name, separate, drawing lines, define, pick sides, we kill. In these bodies we are not perpetual, we must consume energy to regulate and to grow. The sun, plants water fruit, repeat. Prey and hunted ecosystems are simply a dynamic exchange of energy to promote balance. The scales have tipped spilling milk and we are crying. Dear lord how we cry. Wet sobbing tantrum tears, we hold our breath red and blue, then we fall asleep, quiet. We forget that we must wake up. Pull the crust from our eyes and disassociate with the drool on our all too comfortable pillows. What is us and what is the character playing us in the TV movie. It is hard to resist bait that was created to lure you into complacency of reality. Trust is truly hard to come by, true trust. Not this trust that has a payment plan, contracts, never mind small print trickery of lawyers and devils. Like dominoes the people fall, but they tend to fall at a geometric rate of apathy. One, two, community, city state losing contact with us. I have heard of the “Me generation” looking back over my shoulder in the rear view mirror, but I was young during those times and don’t remember much. A base nature of survival gone out of control. We have grown fat with contentment of surviving so long on a prescribed diet of tar and stimulants. Addicted to life at all costs. Are some just staring at the green light wrapped up in the noise and routine. Scheming replaces dreaming at some point. Uprooted and moved to the wrong side of the tracks with all the other unmentionables. Disheveled hollowed out carcass beaten down so far that the sell themselves. Passing down the mantel like a ton of bricks used to build their own jail. A prison of the mind the soul for generations. The main attraction is eating himself, there will be no concourse. If you see my heart. I’m sorry.

Wings, and a flaming sword, Talons and brething fire, I wonder why anyone would trade those for a Mohawk and cigarettes? Maybe the resume was too good to pass up? Some tools need care or they rust. Wearing shoes that fit can make the world of difference. Remembering to embrace your enemy and keep them close, comes to mind for some reason. You never know when you might need a friend. To know an enemy is to know yourself, entirely. I heard my mother ask someone once “when was the last time you have looked in a mirror?” I doubt this was a question of garden variety vanity. Reflection and time can be important lessons when taken into consideration. The negative of your equations can provide interesting results. If you map the universe to a plane and equate it, the negative of that equation is proof of other universes. Black holes consume, white hole produce energy. Equal points bridging gaps in space. How do we manage with all the space between us?

Sometimes it is quiet inside me. These small opportunities cannot be counted on for their punctuality. The derived worth can only be explained by a collector of such items. Some would not conciser these artifacts of any value. I get a little sadder thinking bout it. The overlooked potential. If I told you the end of the story would you thank me for putting you at ease? Some might conciser me damned for ruining the good part. How can I live with this,… Everything will be OK.

This jaw is aching from all the yawning my body is decided on performing. The signs point to getting some rest in the next few hours in a semi horizontal position. Thanks.

February 18, 2009